Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)

Guys, Michael Bolton is here

Oh great, send him in

Hey guys

Hey, hi, thanks for comin'

Sorry I'm late, I just got caught up watchin'

The Pirates of the Caribbean marathon

Have you seen those things?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah those are, those are great

Well, I checked out the track and I loved it

And I wrote you this big sexy hook

I think you're gonna really dig

Oh wow, that's great, awesome

Should we just lay it down?

Boys, let's get to it

Here we go

Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton

Yeah

The night starts now

Together on a track

The boys are back

The night starts now

Night starts now, baby, roll with us

Chickies snappin' at the neck when we rollin' up

Oh, yeah

Club front doors, ain't no holdin' up

Yeah

Black card at the bar, like I gives a fuck

Come on

Ladies shifty-eyed when we walk into the set

Fuck the fellas lookin' jealous, play that back and get wet

Yeah, yeah

Three pound at my waste, shank in my sock

You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot

This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow

Pirate so brave on the seven seas

What?

Mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga

Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze

Yeah, that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club (Club)

Buyin' up the bar so the groupies show us love

Keira Knightley

Motherfuckin' Iceman, I'm the top gunner

Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner

Jack Sparrow

Watch it, girl, 'cause I ain't your Mr. Nice Guy

More like the, "Meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice" guy

Yeah, yeah

All dressed up with nowhere to run

I know I make you feel crazy with a

Now back to the good part

From the day he was born, he yearned for adventure

Ugh, no

Oh, Captain Jack givin' them what for

Yeah

He's the pauper of the surf, the Jester of Tortuga

Oh God

In Davy Jones' Locker, what lies in store?

Yeah, we've seen the movie

Put your hands in the air and say, "Hell yeah," come on

Captain Jack, Johnny Depp

What? No

From the front to the back, say, "We count stacks," come on

Davy Jones, Giant Squid

Nope, wrong

Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up

Roger that, let me try with another film

Wait

Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump

Not better

Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, I give Jenny all my love

Come on

Okay then, I'm a legal aide, Erin Brockovich is my name

Oh God

Then you can call me Scarface, snortin' mountains of cocaine

Close enough

You cockroaches wanna play rough?

Okay, I'm reloaded, ah-ha

This is the tale of Tony Montana

This is the tale

Cubano flame with Miami guns

Take it home

Got a basehead wife, her womb is polluted

This whole town's a pussy just waitin' to get fucked

Just waitin' to get fucked

Okay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile

You complete me

Yeah, yeah, okay