Liar (feat. Alex Marie Brinkley)

I gotta be real with myself

I wasn't being real to myself

I still have scars that run deep

And I haven't spent any time healin' myself

No one around could feel what I felt

I felt stuck from puttin' fear in myself

I'm still gettin' burned, now I'm steamin' in Hell

God actin' like I'm not screamin' for help

I gotta get up

I could feel it in my gut, I wanna give up

I can't trust anyone, 'cause everyone switch up

I can't love anyone, 'cause everyone slip up

It's just me, don't got anyone I could hit up

All I dreamt of was seein' a stadium fill up

Because of me, every light in it gets lit up

Changin' the world through every lyric I spit up

But until a change happens in me, I can never change it

I turned fake, I got the balls to say it

I was ridin' waves, tryna get famous

A million plays, they know what my name is

Now I hate the stress that it all came with

My anxiety's high, and it's mad dangerous

I lost my girl, I could never save us

Being honest with yourself is the hardest, ain't it?

It's okay to admit when you're wrong and you're fake

It's okay to lose yourself when you make a mistake

It's okay to lose faith after a heartbreak

I can't say I'm perfect, if I did, I'm lyin' to your face

I'm a liar, and I lie every day

I act like I'm fine, but I ain't

Inside, I'm dyin' and I pray 'cause I'm only human

Yeah, what more can I say? (Damn)

I felt like I found me, but I'm lost again

I felt like I could do it without a friend

I'm a liar to myself

I'm a liar to myself, yeah

I gotta be real with myself

I wasn't being real to myself

I still have scars that run deep

And I haven't spent any time healin' myself

No one around could feel what I felt

I felt stuck from puttin' fear in myself

I'm still gettin' burned, now I'm steamin' in Hell

God actin' like I'm not screamin' for help

I gotta learn to

Accept the fact that there's no one to turn to

Accept the fact that the flame we had burned through

I fucked up bad, knowin' that, I don't deserve you

So many problems that we coulda sat and worked through

Wishin' that I wasn't the one that had to hurt you

So blind to that, I didn't see that from your view

And now I'm stuck with pictures that I sit and search through

And I heard you moved on, and I admit it's my fault

I'm sick of all the damage that I caused

I'm so sick of frickin' livin' inside of my thoughts

I'm blind to what I have and only see I lost

And I thought if I blew up I would be happy, well, I'm not

So don't even ask me

If it looks like I am, then I'm probably just acting

'Cause life is a movie, mine looks like a sad scene

I'm lyin' to myself when I say I believe

When truth is I didn't even see it in me

I would only rhyme if I was feelin' a beat

When I should just beat this villain in me

In raps, I be inner healer to me

I had nobody when I needed to speak

Hated my life that had no meanin' to me

I'm still dealin' with these demons in me

Thought I was found, but

But the real me needed to leave 'cause

I felt like I found me, but I'm lost again

I felt like I could do it without a friend

I'm a liar to myself

I'm a liar to myself, yeah