Piggy Pie (Old School)

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs

Who went out into the big world

To build their homes and seek their fortunes

The first little piggy, his house is made of wood

He lives in a chicken-turkey-piggy neighbourhood

He likes to fuck his sister and drink his moonshine

A typical redneck filthy fucking swine

I rode into town with my axe in my holster

Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster

The sheriff at the border, he tried to take me out

I drew my axe with the quickness and cut his Adam's apple out

Walked in the village and to the piggies place

He opened up his door and shot me in the face

It blew me off the porch, it blew my head in half

But I'm a juggalo, so it only made me laugh

Axe in hand, I rose like the dead

And swung with all my might, and made a thump noise in his head

Since we out west, I grabbed a shotgun

And blew his fucking tongue out the back of his cranium

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

The second little piggy, his house is made of brick

And this little piggy is a motherfucking dick

He lays down his rules and redo your rights

In that funny looking car with the little blinking lights

I drive a Volkswagen bug 17 deep

Packed full of juggalos lights out and we creep

To the piggy station and lay on the horn

First piggy out we blow his lungs out his uniform

Now they in pursuit like Starsky and Hutch

But there's only two of them, the rest are out to lunch

They call up Dunkin' Donuts to gather up the rest

25 piggies with their bulletproof vests

We lead them on a chase, they busting off rounds

But now they all fucked 'cause we at the Carney grounds

And they gettin' swallowed by their very own greed

Dark carnival and wicked clowns, 'cause we need

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy sacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

The last little piggy, his house is made of gold

He lives in a mansion on his own private road

I started walking down it, the guard, he told me wait

I snapped his fuckin' neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate

'Cause this little piggy must definitely die

I'ma lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky

And then I watched the moon take the form of the devil

And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel

People in my city, they fighting for their meals

He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with 100 dollar bills

A richey is the devil, he never will admit it

So I'ma cut his hand off and slap his face with it

Opened up his door, he sleeping in his bed

I grabbed a brick of gold and smacked it upside his head

He begged for his life, I told him it's too late

And tied his neck in a knot and watch him suffocate, 'cause I need

Three little piggies to make a piggy pie

'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies to make a piggy pie

There's nothin' like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, I might use an axe

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothin' like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun (no)

I might use an axe (yes)

The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks