Piggy Pie (Including Skit Of "Suicide Phone")

Come and get it, woo

We got some fresh vittles for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch

So here, start with a slice of this fresh piggy pie, motherfucker

The first little piggy, his house is made of wood

He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood

He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine

A typical redneck, filthy fucking swine

I rode into town with my axe in my holster

Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster

A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out

I drew my ax with the quickness and cut his chicken feathers out

Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place

He opened up his door and popped me in the face

And blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half

But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh

Forty in hand, I rose from the dead

And threw with all my might and made a ping noise off his head

Since we out west, I had a little fun

And pulled his fucking tongue out the back of his cranium

Three little piggies to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

The second little piggy, his house is made of brick

And this little piggy is a motherfucking dick

He sits on his bench and gets all the respect

But if I get a chance, I'm going straight for the neck

He walked in the room, and everybody rose

Lopped off bucket chilling underneath my clothes

First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit

But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet

Now, I see the bailiff, I'm thinking what the fuck?

I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up

Old-ass man, I let him get away

That tired motherfucker will probably die tomorrow anyway

Here come the piggy, it's time for my case

His eyes are blood red with a wicked looking face

He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me to die

So I ragged on the bucket, made it fucking rain pork rinds

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

The last little piggy, his house is made of gold

He lives in a mansion on his own private road

I started walking down it, the guard told me wait

I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate

'Cause this little piggy must definitely fry

I'ma lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky

And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil

And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel

People in my city, they fighting for their meals

He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with hundred dollar bills

How rich he is the devil, he never will admit it

So I'ma take his money stack and stuff his face with it

Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed

I grabbed a brick of gold and laid it upside his head

He begged for his life, I told him it's too late

And took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate 'cause I need

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die

I might use a gun, no, I might use an axe, yes

The carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

(Hotline) Hello

What up?

What's up? I'm not sure that I wanna live anymore

That's what's up

Hello

Hi, I need someone to talk to

Call your mom

My mother died last year

Serves her right, bitch, ha ha ha, I'm just playing, fucknuts

Listen, whenever you're feeling low, just page me and I'll call you

You will?

Sure, I'll call you a nerdy bitch for bothering me

Now, don't blow your fucking head off

Why not? Who cares if I do?

The poor guy who's got to clean that shit up

If you gonna do it, do it outside or something

You think I won't really do it, don't you?

Honestly, I could give a rat's ass

You think I won't, huh you think I'm kidding? You think I'm

Do it, do it fucker, bring me the gun, I'll fucking do it for you

Hello, hello, are you there?

Hello

I knew you wouldn't do it, you scary bitch