The Neden Game

Let's meet contestant number one

He's a schizophrenic, serial killer clown who says

Women love his sexy smile

Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon

Sharon, what's your question?

Contestant number one

I believe first impressions last forever

So, let's say you were to come over to my parents house and have dinner with me and family

Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick

Let's see

Well, I'd have to think about it

I might show up in a tux, ha, but I doubt it

I'd probably just show up naked like I always do

And look your momma in the eye and tell her, "Fuck you"

Hurry up, bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti

I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready"

Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed

I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin' lips

It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother

I'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother

I'm steady-starin' at your sister

I'll tell ya this, you know for only thirteen she got some big tits

After that, your dad would try jump again

And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin

After your mom does the dishes and the silverware

I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear

Now let's meet contestant number two

He's a psychopathic, deranged crackhead freak

Who works for the Dark Carnival

He says, women call him Stretch Nuts

Sharon, let's hear your question

I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions

A man who expresses himself in his own special way

Number two, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

First thing, I could never love you

You sound like a ritchie-bitch, yo, fuck you

But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care

By takin' all these other muthafuckers outta here

I'd go through your phone book and whack 'em all

And find contestant number one and break his fuckin' jaw (What?)

Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay

I'd be blowin' fuckin' nuggets off all day

I'd grab your titties and stretch 'em down past your waist

Let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face

I'd sing love songs to you the best I can

Get you naked and hit it like a caveman

Then we'd go to the beach and walk through the sand

I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin'

As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back

And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack

Well, it sounds like contestant number two is just overflowing with sensitivity, Sharon

It's a tough choice so far

Sharon, let's have your last question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your neden

Ok, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the same time

Tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick line be? (Well)

Whoever's the smoothest wins

Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar and tell you that I can't believe how fuckin' fat you are

I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake

And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Ricki Lake

Fuck that

You'd be jockin' me quick

I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick

And then to get your attention in the crowded place

I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo, that'll get her

Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even better

Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap

Shit, you don't want contestant number two, he's mad whack

I walked into a barn and there he was

Standin' up on a bucket, eww, tryna fuck it

It was a big fuckin' smelly ass farm llama

Damn, dawg

How you gonna diss your mamma?