Funky Dividends

Cruising down the Ave with my homeboy Boove

Laying back like Jack, mellowing to the groove

The 'Greatest Man Alive' was cold rocking my world

Then I rocked a little harder when I saw this fresh, fly girl

Ay, hold up, I can't go out like a nut

I had to conjure up a cool way to strut

"They call me E.S., the overlord of fresh

I saw you in the dress and I just had to impress"

My compliment came through in a clutch

She started to blush, then I knew what was up

Called her next morning, said, "What'll it be?

Dinner and a movie or just chillin' with me?"

She said me, so I went and got the slimy

But as soon as I opened the door she said, "Gimme"

It was like I was a bone and she was fetching

She gobbled, cold swallowed my one's like Greedy Gretchin

Then after a couple of weeks of good loving, my friends

She did the dummy move and started asking for my dividends

Come around the corner looking funki fresh

This new jack babe started popin' a mess

Steady trip, 'cause I ain't call her last night

I kindly pulled her to the side n' said, "Yo, take a hike

'Cause I don't need it girl, too many problems in this world

So go on ahead with your jheri curl"

She wanted Jefferson's and Lincoln's

I said, "No way! Yo Slim, what do you think this is? President's Day?

People start buggin' over things like that honey

You know the time so don't act funny with my money

I refuse to abuse my savings and loans

So if you want some ends baby, you best go get your own

Now I said it once before and I'ma say it again

Best believe you won't receive no dividends"

It's a shame, nowadays you've got to stay paid

It ain't like the old days when you would serenade

Take walks with your girl at night in the park

And in the shadows, secretly steal her heart

But the new wave 80's has everything reversible

Instead of walks, you drive a Cadillac Convertible

Two's bound to kill you, all you need is one

To constantly bug you to get her hair done

Every week's a new style, she's always got to rock it

Like a Super Bowl sack, she's tackling your pockets

But when you want to chill you find that something always blocks it

You're looking for your wallet but your girlfriend's got it

I tried to put you D, 'cause you was my friend

You didn't listen, now she's got you for your dividends

Now I don't like to get upset and I don't like to riff

But one thing that gets me hype is when girls shoot the gift

Now there's a little saying about the J-O-B

But what she's really trying to do is take your D-O-E

N' wreck your whole check on the latest design

When you're broke, it's all a joke, but when you're paid it's fine

This advice to you I lend, begin to let it sink and you can spin

But don't be taking nothing my friend

Now I said it once before and I'ma say it again

"Best believe you won't receive no dividends"

Now I said it once before and I'ma say it again

"Best believe you won't receive no dividends"