Careful With That Mic...

So tell me, when you took the Practice Scholastic Aptitude Test

Did you know the answers or did you guess?

You rely on gimmicks to amuse your fans

And act all urban to jack-up your Sound Scan

What's the matter with you? How come you rhyme monosyllabically?

Is atrophy shrinking your entire vocabulary?

Your style's like garbage cans meant to be taken out on a weekly basis

Ever since your first record you've been in a state of suspended animation

You look like Snuffleupagus and Australopithecus

Me Cray, you abacus

But enough about you, let's talk about me

And how single-handedly I redefined the science of radio astronomy

Making nobel prize winners question their notions of reality

Oh, but I digress… you play Sorry, I play chess

King's pawn to E3, checkmate

Go get some Percocets

Careful with that mic, wheezy

Do you really think it's that easy?

Mmmm… this is really good ice cream! You want some of it?

Oh, my bad I didn't know you were lactose intolerant

Makes you pass gas, frightens all the girls away

Only friends you keep are those you pay

Always on the ready for the wack snack attack

I carry sandwiches around in a straight-edge style JanSport backpack

Got the gadget Q gave Bond

Controlling your mind and make you jump in a pond

Go "quack quack" and flap your arms, leave you confused but completely unharmed

Careful with that mic, wheezy

Do you really think it's that easy?

Do you really think it's true

That up above they can't hear you?

Now look here

Both you and I know that the past ten years have been rather intense

I'm ashamed to admit that I've been fooled by the seductions of violence

People walking around with ugly auras

At times I'm even tempted to seek the advice of Dr. Laura

But I ignore her

And I take a deep breath and count to ten

Ain't gonna let it get under my skin

Take a deep breath and count to ten

Think of all the nice places that I been

Like back when I was waging peace against the Visigoths

I was tutored in the ancient mysteries by a wizened philosoph

Learned the polyrhythm of celestial time

And wait for the one to come and get it done to finish the rhyme

Careful with that mic, wheezy

Do you really think it's that easy?

Do you really think it's true

That up above they can't hear you?