The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys

For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys

When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was covered  with ammo

Like a big fat drunk disgruntles yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye

"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die"

The night Santa went crazy

The night Saint Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must've snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it

Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet

And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage

And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger

And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Kruger

And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen

And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken"

The night Santa went crazy

The night Kris Kringle went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole

Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the FBI

There's a van from the eyewitness news

And helicopters circlin' round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, oh, Santa, why?

My, my, my, my, my, my, you used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time

In a federal prison for his infamous crime

Hey little friend now, don't you cry no more tears

He'll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous

And the elves all got jobs workin' for the Postal Service

And they say, Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night

With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' 'bout the night Santa went crazy

The night Saint Nicholaus flipped

Broke his back for some milk and cookies

Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gyped

Oh, the night Santa went crazy

The night Saint Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must've snapped in his brain

Oh, something finally must've snapped in his brain

Tell you, something finally must've snapped in his brain