laying awake at night

I'm laying awake at night

Lately I hate my mind

Need to do something bout' it

I pray I don't take my life

The meds would've helped me a bit but

I never take them right

My mom thinks a therapist could but

I'll never take the time

To reach out to someone who don't give a fuck about me they only show up for the check

The waves of the pain are pulling me down and I can't keep holding my breath

So if one of these days I finally drown then don't be upset

Just know that I tried and gave it my all but I ain't got anything left

I hate the way I'm changing

I'm so tired of waiting

I'm lying to myself say I'm good but I'm not

Everyday feel like the same shit

I just hate the way I'm changing

I'm so tired of waiting

I'm numb and miss the pain

That's the only thing inside of me that's gone and now I crave it

Running from demons while chasing a ghost

Wish you could know

That I get anxiety out in the public but then when I leave I hate it at home

So where do I go?

Go

Where do I go? There's nowhere to hide

But I find a comfort inside of the pain so when its all good

I self sabotage and throw it away

I throw it away

I talked to the devil and he told me that I'll be okay

I'll be- I'll be okay

But only if he get the one thing he want and I'm gonna pay

Ave

Satanas

Ave

Satanas

Ave

Satanas

Ave

I hate the way I'm changing

I'm so tired of waiting

I'm lying to myself say I'm good but I'm not

Everyday feel like the same shit

I just hate the way I'm changing

I'm so tired of waiting

I'm numb and miss the pain

That's the only thing inside of me that's gone and now I crave it