Let’s Run Away Together

Poor baby

You lonely bastard

Can't you see how that monster has used you?

You're not her husband

You're just a tissue

One final blow, then she'll throw you away

But I got a plan

And you're the man I know I need, to do it, Ernest

I need to do it, Ernest

Do what exactly?

End Madeline

Oh

Don't look so scared

You know you want it

A simple fix for the years she's abused you

Then poof, she's gone

Bye, Mad, we'll miss you

You had fun, now there's hell to pay

Just do what I do

And Ernest, dear, I guarantee

That once she's through

It's me and you and you and me

We'll start a new life

Put "ex" in front of "wife"

Once Madeline's dead and buried in a ditch

What?

Let's run away together

Let's run away and be wild

Let's build a house in the woods

I'll forage for goods while you carry my child

Let's run away together

Let's leave the madness behind

We'll hide her corpse without a trace

I'll change my name, you'll change your face

'Til everything is perfect

La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Helen, you're acting a little insane

I don't like that word, Ernest

The only thing that's insane is we haven't spent the last ten years wrapped in each other's arms because of her

She stole my life, she made me cuckoo

She's why I spent four years locked in that “Health Spa”

She took it all and left me nothing

But a penchant for bingeing and rage

But enough of me

You sexy man, tell me how I can convince you, Ernest

I can't believe we're even—

We shouldn't even be talking about—

Sh, it will be quick, just how you like it

Zero mess, unless you've got a bonesaw? No?

We'll be precise, we'll stage a story

Of an actress cast out for her age

They'll think she's cracked, a tragic end for all to see

Her final act, they'll eat it up and we'll be free

An innocent pair, my fingers in your hair

While Madeline's decomposing in the ground

Let's run away together

Let's run away to Paris

Let's go make love in the park

Eat bread in the dark while you spread me like brie

Let's run away together

Zou zou bisou

Let's get out now while there's time

You either stay, and life gets worse

Or get your balls out of her purse

And join me to make perfect

La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la

I am not saying I'll go along with any of this, it's barbaric

But just out of curiosity—how would we do it?

Well, off the top of my head

You could take this Narconol, dust it lightly on her wine glass, she drinks from it, passes out, we drive her up to Mulholland, dump liquor all over her, release the brake, and the next thing you know they're fishing her out of Jack Nicholson's pool

By the time they perform the autopsy, the Narconol has dissolved, leaving only traces of alcohol

She's classified as just another drunk driver, and we walk off into the sunset together

Again, just spitballing

Helen

What?

I can't

You can

I can't

You can't?

I can

You can

I can

You can

We can run away together

Ha-ha-ha-ha

Let's make our new life begin

It's now or never, take your pick

But don't think too hard, make it quick

It's what we have to do

'Cause once that bitch is through

We've won, she's done

Let's run away

Zou zou bisou