Yellow

the other late night

was talking to a friend

and I explained why

I typically will tend

to have a hard time

chasing down an end

he nodded, he knew

that’s why he’s a friend

but when I got home

thought about that talk

I felt the shame I

feel when I try to block

the parts of myself

that want to be set free

I nodded, I know

I’ve spent some time with me

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

I meant, I pay the debts

for the people they could have been

sometimes words just slip out

I can’t put them all back in

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

it’s not what I really meant

the other mid-day

was hanging with the guys

and then I asked if

my voice was still inside

the lines that hold me

the very ones that bind

they nodded, they knew

that’s why I don’t hide

and then I got home

thought about that day

I felt embarrassed

because I still betray

the parts of myself

that know the fucking notes

I nodded, I know

I’ve spent some time with ghosts

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

I meant, I carry lead

from the words that somebody said

sometimes things don’t work out

and I can’t make it all make sense

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

I meant, I pay the debts

for the people they could have been

sometimes words just slip out

and I can’t put them all back in

I said, “I hate myself”

but that’s not what I really meant

I try, I paint my fingernails

the very color of the purest daisy

I hope it’s helping some

I try, I turn the pedals up

the very volume helps me feel less hazy

I hope it’s helping some

I try, I paint my fingernails

the very color of the purest daisy

I hope it’s helping some

I try, I turn the pedals up

the very volume helps me feel less hazy

I hope it’s helping some