The Tendencies

I send letters almost every day

mixed in with the bills is some small envelope to say “hello”

or “thank you” or “be mine”

I’ve done it all my life

I make things with my hands when I need to think

a quilt for someone’s baby, or a dress made from a pink pillowcase

with lace along the sides

I’ve done it all my life

but would you love me if I went and changed right here?

gave up all the tendencies I hold so dear?

I just feel so tired after all these years of being me

I want to be free

I have been defined by who I’ve loved

it’s just as much a gift as it is also not enough

I give up, then turn around and try

I’ve done it all my life

so would you love me if I went and changed right here?

gave up all the tendencies I hold so dear?

I just feel so tired after all these years of being me

I want to be free

would you love me if I changed my mind today?

let the mess pile up while I just smiled and walked away?

what if I could walk down a Las Vegas aisle to say, ”I do”?

hey love, could you?

I do; do you?

I talk to myself when I hold guitars

it happens much more often when the sky is holding stars

I learn about myself each night

I’ve done it all my life