You Ominously End

I yearned to be the first to reach out on your birthday Oh, what a twisted way of showing you I care Threatened to show all your new friends our secret handshake And like Halloween, I'll be here once a year When you tried to take your life We're just happy you survived Confirmed you can't do nothing right Like you couldn't even die if you tried You're not mad but I can tell I've disappointed you The kind of quiet that creates tension in a home Three hundred people in this town but not one worth driving to You're the reason for all the crosses by the road I am all-knowing about you, it's a burden I bear I think my brain would be empty if not for the cell we share I fixate on shit you forgot Like a hard drive of your half-baked thoughts When you tried to take your life You felt ashamed that you survived Thought if there was one thing you'd do right It'd be the best Irish goodbye Man, I'm missing you to death But it hasn't come to that You can ominously end But not yet, not yet Not yet, not yet You're dead set on leaving the world The same way you had found I'll crane my neck Looking up to somebody in the ground I was born to stay right here And you can't stay in one spot I don't move so you can reference How far you have gone Look back until I'm lost Until you've finally forgot If you were always notified when you were in the dreams I've dreamt I think you'd be the one ignoring all my calls I've known you long enough to know when you are playing dead When I check in, it's like I'm feeling for a pulse