Comedy Metal is a F*****g Embarrassment

The mob are ravenous, they're thirsting for my blood

Hunting for me nightly; "Ready the stake – fetch the wood."

This poisoned chalice, once tight within my grip

The unruly horde cries out: "Comedy metal is fucking shit."

The only reviews worth reading are scrawled on the back of toilet doors

Gnashing teeth grinding bones to powder then to be snorted on the sink by the rabble's whores

This pit of vipers is always hissing with contempt

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This is your last chance

One more attempt

That's it you're locked out, you're never getting in

Wipe that smirk right off your face – that shit-eating grin

Insidious imbeciles mocking a carefully crafted code

Sin and death and rage is all we've ever known

I'm so tired

Is this my burden, is this my Hell to bear?

A severe inability to take anything seriously

Forever cursed to be the clown

I'm the wry smile at the funeral, the selfie with the mushroom cloud

The only reviews worth reading are hateful comments in online forums

Chewed up and spat out by the algorithm's doormen

Trade in your soul for content and monetise your dreams

This world will burn to blackened ash but think of all the memes

Everything is funny if you take enough steps back

Everything is funny if you hold your breath for long enough

Are you not entertained?

Where is my fortune? Where's my fame?

You cannot possibly hate me any more than I hate myself

Is this my burden, is this my hell to bear?

A severe inability to take anything seriously

Forever cursed to be the clown

I'm the wry smile at the funeral, the selfie with the mushroom cloud

Should I carve out my own path or go by the handbook?

You shouldn't judge a book by its cover

Don't you dare judge this book by its cover

It's all a fucking joke

It's all a joke, and no one's laughing but me

Maybe that's all that matters

And maybe that's the point