Broken

4 in the morning

Sitting in my car

Looking in my

Rearview mirror

Thinking about life

What did I do

To reach this point

Did I do anything right

Fumbling my thumbs

Checking bank accounts

Moving money around

Just to get home

A place where I feel alone

Stuck with my thoughts

The feeling is overgrown

I like to think that

I’m a good person

But that feeling

Is controversial

To myself,

The things

I do in my life

Are beneficial to me

It’s not healthy

Calling me selfish

I consider it safe

To isolate myself

From potential pain

It’s the only way

To control

My mental state

But I’m stuck in my ways

I feel like I’m hopeless

And I’ll never change

Still trying to cope with

My trauma for certain

Locating the source

And giving up on

My options

Maybe I’m stubborn

Maybe I’m cautious

Maybe I’ll change

When nobody is watching

But that’s a mythical dream

That I’m not

destined to achieve

So I remain the same

And all I am is Broken

Say Hello to

Carrying these Doubts

That weigh on my chest

To the point

That I can’t Breathe

But I know my Fate

Is underneath me

Inception fills my head

You can call it a Tragedy

Say I’m Somewhere in between

Broken, Lonely in this world

All you can say is Goodbye

I like to think that

I’m a bad person

But my sister says that

Dad speaks so highly of me

But I don’t see it that way

All I see is the negative traits

That haunts my past

That leaves me afraid

I’m so pessimistic

I only look for pain

You can give me love

And I’ll shove it away

That’s who I am

And I am Broken

Faking a smile

When hanging with family

That I don’t speak to

Because I don’t want to

Holding a grudge

For cutting us off

Over stupid drama

My Parents are acting like

They’re not bothered

But maybe it’s me

Maybe I don’t like

To associate with

People that are

So ready to leave

Trust issues aside

That’s something I don’t need

4 in the morning

Sitting in my room

Thoughts that

Leave me confused

Question on what to do

Do I chase my dreams

Or do I turn them down

Honestly I don’t know,

All I know is that

I am…

broken