Change My Past

It never goes away, I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

Feelin' a type of way 'bout the past that I run from

Night and day fade to black when I'm undone

I feel lost, constantly exhausted, double crossed

Still haunted by the monster I once was

And when the sun's gone and there's no escape

I feel the darkness take shape and show face

There's no place, I never feel safe

There's no change, hope fades and I'll never be okay

Never be the same but I'll always feel close to

Losin' everything, it's almost like I'm supposed to

I chose you, let you in and gave you a home to

Become a part of me but now I'm lookin' to ghost you

I hoped you'd disappear but you're attached

I painted the mirror, I tried breakin' the glass

I see my face in the cracks, a refraction, I'm abstract

Can't run from the past but I'm keepin' my bags packed

It never goes away, I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

I'll never be okay, I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

Gone is the vessel, now there's nothing inside  me

And God and the Devil are the voices behind me

But they lie, designin' blue skies

While they guide to me a pasture where nobody will find me

Down a road that I'm hopin' to steer through

To a home I thought I left in the rearview

To a weird room, nothing to peer through

Doors shut, curtains drawn, nobody can hear you

All this time I been holdin' myself hostage

My hands tied and a blindfolded conscience

Brainwashed and overly cautious

I'm talkin' to myself in the cell that we're locked in

A situation, I'm dyin' for some relief

Negotiatin' the terms for my release

I find keys to set myself free then history repeats

Nothing can save me

It never goes away, I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

I'll never be okay, I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

And I would be nothing without you

And all that you made me (And all that you made me)

And I would be nothing without you

And how you destroy me (You always destroy me)

It never goes away, I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?

I'll never be okay, I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change, change my past?