The Hammer

Look at these trophies

See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight

See how they shine

What do you think it took to become

English Hammer-Throwing Champion 1959?

Do you think in that moment

When my big moment came

That I treated the rules

With casual disdain?

Well, like hell

As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan?

Hmm, what?

As I chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands?

I did not!

As I started my spin, did I look at the view?

Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two?

Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation?

Do you think I altered my intended elevation?

As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt?

From the grunt, I had practiced for many a month

Not a jot, not a dot, did I stray from the plot?

Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten

Even when the hammer left my hands

And sailed high up, up above the stands

Did I let myself go?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

(She's done it! She is the best!)

If you want to throw the hammer for your country

You have to stay inside the circle all the time

If you want to make the team

You don't need happiness or self-esteem

You just need to keep your feet inside the line

Sing, children, two, three, four

If you want to throw the hammer for your country

(Bambinautm est magitum)

You have to stay inside the circle all the time

(Circulum magitum magitum)

And if you want to teach success

You don't use sympathy or tenderness (tenderness)

You have to force the little squits to toe the line!

Sing, Jenny!

If you want to throw the hammer for your country

(Bambinautm est magitum)

You have to stay inside the circle all the time

(Circulum magitum magitum)

(Circulum est Deus gloria)

I apply just one simple rule

To a hammer-throwing life at school

Life's a ball, so learn to throw it

Find the bally line and toe it

And always keep your feet inside the line

Now, get out