Stourbridge Fair

Let me spin you all a story from many moons ago

For the feast of the holy cross they gathered for a show

There were gypsies from the marshes and fairies from the moor

Artisans and farmhands the rich folk and the poor

If you had the money you could buy most anything

From all corners of existence they came a-bartering

And for the penniless, the homeless, the aged and the ill

We'll you'd better go off thieving so you could get your fill

Welcome to the centre of the universe my dear

There's fire in the heavens and carnage in the air

And I've never seen a beauty like the girl that I saw there

Dancing on the common at Stourbridge Fair

Well it's harvest time again and it's time to reap and sow

The orchard is a-heaving with lovers don’t you know

They’re smoking pipes of peace and chasing dragons on the Heath

And in the parish of St Mary they wear nothing underneath

Well it's not Saturnalia but it's a solid number two

Take this prism Mr Newton you won't believe what it can do

But I've no use for trinkets, ornaments or silk

As the parson pours a whisky in another pail o' milk

Welcome to the centre of the universe my dear

There's fire in the heavens and carnage in the air

And I've never seen a beauty like the girl that I saw there

Dancing on the common at Stourbridge Fair

Ah professor Farmer I thought I'd find you here

I'm reading ancient history and I thought I'd bend your ear

I'm stuck at the bit where Euclid had a mad idea

And I need some inspiration so lets have another beer

Good evening Father Patrick the pleasure is all mine

Of course I'd like to join you for a cup of holy wine

The lepers must be delighted with the money rolling in

Unless of course those boys of yours have spent it all on gin

I'm sorry Mrs Baker I don't mean to interrupt

But I could take your daughter's hand cause your land ain't up to much

A more honest upstanding gentleman you will never find

Meet me in the cathouse if you should change your mind

Welcome to the centre of the universe my dear

There's fire in the heavens and carnage in the air

I've never seen a beauty like the girl that I saw there

Dancing on the common at Stourbridge Fair