Gee, Officer Krupke

Oh, look at yous, ya feckless friggin' disappointments

Now gimme one good reason I shouldn't throw the book atcha

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke

You gotta understand

It's just our bringin' up-ke

That gets us out of hand

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses

Naturally we're punks

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset

We never had the love that every child oughta get

We ain't no delinquents

We're misunderstood

Deep down inside us

There is good

There is good

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good

Like inside, the worst of us is good

Aw, that's a touchin' good story

Let me tell it to the world

Just tell it to the judge

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor

My parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana

They won't give me a puff

They didn't wanna have me

But somehow I was had

Leapin' lizards

That's why I'm so bad

Right

Officer Krupke, you're really a square

This boy don't need a judge, he needs a analyst's care

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed

He's psychologically disturbed

I'm disturbed

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed

Like we're psychologically disturbed

Hear ye, hear ye, in the opinion of this court

The boy's depraved on account of he ain't had a normal home

Hey, I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived

Take this nut to a headshrinker

Oh, why not? Come on

My father is a bastard

My ma's an SOB

My grandpa's always plastered

My grandma pushes tea

My sister wears a mustache

My brother wears a dress

Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

Yes, Officer Krupke, you're really a slob

This boy don't need a doctor

Just a good honest job

Society's played him a terrible trick

And sociologically, he's sick

I am sick

We are sick, we are sick

We are sick, sick, sick

Like we're sociologically sick

In my professional opinion, what we got here is a run-of-the-mill juvenile delinquent

And juvenile delinquency is a social disease

Diesel, you got a social disease?

Bring him to a social worker

Wait, can I catch it by touching him?

Dear

Kindly social worker

They say go earn a buck

Like be a soda jerker

Which means I'd be a schmuck

It's not I'm anti-social

I'm only anti-work

Glory-osky, that's why I'm a jerk

Officer Krupke, you've done it again

This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen

It ain't just a question of misunderstood

Deep down inside him, he's no good

I'm no good

We're no good, we're no good

We're no earthly good

Like the best of us is no damn good

The trouble is he's crazy

The trouble is he drinks

The trouble is he's lazy

The trouble is he stinks

The trouble is he's growing

The trouble is he's grown

Krupke, we got troubles of our own

Gee, Officer Krupke

We're down on our knees

'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease

Gee, Officer Krupke

What are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke

Krup you