Anything Goes

Times have changed

And we've often rewound the clock

Since the Puritans got a shock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today

Any shock they should try to stem

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock

Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking

But now, God knows, anything goes

Good authors, too, who once knew better words

Now only use four-letter words writing prose

Anything goes

The world has gone mad today

And good's bad today

And black's white today

And day's night today

When most guys today

That women prize today

Are just silly gigolos

And though I'm not a great romancer

I know that you're bound to answer

When I propose

Anything goes

When grandmama whose age is eighty

In night clubs is getting matey with gigolos

Anything goes

When mothers pack and leave poor father

Because they decide they'd rather be tennis pros

Anything goes

If driving fast cars you like

If low bars you like

If old hymns you like

If bare limbs you like

If Mae West you like

Or me undressed you like

Why, nobody will oppose

When every night, the set that's smart

Is intruding in nudist parties in studios

Anything goes

The world has gone mad today

And good's bad today

And black's white today

And day's night today

When most guys today

That women prize today

Are just silly gigolos

They think he's gangster number one

So they've made him their favorite son

And that goes to show

Anything goes

If saying your prayers you like

If green pears you like

If old chairs you like

If backstairs you like

If love affairs you like

With young bears you like

Why, nobody will oppose

And though I'm not a great romancer

I know that you're bound to answer

When I propose

Anything goes

Anything, anything, anything

Anything goes