Worrying

Wondering

Worrying

How much pressure can I endure

I never knew why I’ve been like this but I never found a cure

For this awful insecurity that keeps interfering me

Keeping me away from being happy

Always comparing myself with everyone else leaves me thinking I’m not good enough

So I stay silent drown in my own misery

Make myself believe that my presence isn’t worth anything, cause I am nothing

For so many years I got told that eventually I would change

That this insecurity would always stay but I would learn how to cope with it

And I would learn how to hide it and get stronger as I grow older

So I lived and continued with this mindset that everything would be okay

But why haven’t I changed yet

Why do I still feel the same

Why does this thought of being a failure always linger in my mind

Son, you are beautiful as you are

Mother, last December I’ve turned 22

And I’m ashamed to say I still can’t believe you

Teach me how to love

I want to love myself, I want to be there for you and everyone else

I want to get rid of my doubts, I want to change, I need your help

Teach me how to fucking love myself

Wondering

Worrying

How much pressure can I endure

I never knew why I’ve been like this but I never found a cure

For this awful insecurity that keeps interfering me

Keeping me away from being happy

Always unhappy

Always comparing myself with everyone else leaves me thinking I’m not good enough

So I stay silent, drown in my own misery

Make myself believe that my presence isn’t worth anything cause I am nothing