Bad Day

Uh, and it just keeps goin (yeah)

And it just keeps

So I'm in the airport getting ready to leave

Heading to a friend's wedding in the N.Y.C

But my head has been spinning, I'm forgetting to eat

All this jet setting has been really getting to me

It's already 11:20, I'm ready to sleep

But instead I end up sitting in a 27-C

An aisle seat, fine by me

But the guy that's inside's always tryin to pee

With a wild child behind me, he's cryin and keeps

Flippin out and kickin at me while he violently screams

So I silently plea, oh God, please

Let there be a honey sitting 27-B

But of course some morbidly obese

Beast is in the seat that wheezes when he breathes

Dude sitting D is at least three deep

And he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees: (I got bad knees)

'Osgood Schlatters,' just need water

But for a bottle they charge two dollars" (what?)

And when I thought that it couldn't get worse

I forgot my iPod

I'm havin a bad day

Nothin ever seems to go my way

Everybody needs to go away

Why? Because I'm havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah

Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on!)

And it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on)

So four hours and turbulence

We land when I'm about to turd in my pants

But the captain has "Seatbelt fastened"

So my ass is just passin gas and

Then at last I escaped from the plane

When I'm minutes away from clinically insane

I make my way towards baggage claim

When I hear a high-pitched voice scream my name (Asher!)

Some dumb bitch I went to high school with

While I'm sweating she's telling me she likes my shit

I just smile and think, 'bout how great it would be

If I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep (leg sweep)

So I pick up my L.L. Bean

And beeline for the next taxi

In need of weed, and boxer briefs

But my bag's only got Maxi's

I'm havin a bad day

Nothin ever seems to go my way

Everybody needs to go away

Why? Because I'm havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah

Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on!)

And it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on)

I check in to my hotel room

And I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom

Tell him my mood and how I'm ordering food

And I'm probably gonna stay in and watch a movie

But the tube has no HBO (what?)

So anything I want, yo I'm paying fo'

But I'm lame and broke, so I'm laying in a robe

Watching that "Little People, Big World" show

Right then there's a knock at the door

It's my last hope for a Spanish whore

Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis

"Hi, I've lost my cat; have you seen it?"

Jesus, this day is the worst

At least I can give Little Me a jerk

And then go to sleep, healthy and disease-less

It guess it could be worse; but I'm just

I'm havin a bad day

Nothin ever seems to go my way

Everybody needs to go away

Why? Because I'm havin a bad dayyyyy, yeah

Hey hey, and it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on!)

And it just keeps goin (keep goin)

And it just keeps (goin on)

Hey, and it keep goin onnnnn

Hahahaha, yo