Dear Yvette

Yo, Yvette, there's a lot of rumors goin' around

They're so bad, baby, you might have to skip town

See, something's smellin' fishy and they say it's you

All I know is that you made it with the whole damn crew

They say you're a man-eater during the full moon

Mascot of the senior boys' locker room

They said Yvette walked in, there wasn't too much rap

Her reputation got bigger and so did her gap

'Cause girl, yo mama should've taught you better

I'ma sit down and write you a long letter

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again, if you was

I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz

I'm not a news reporter, I don't mean to assume

What should I think? I seen ya comin' out the men's bathroom

You wasn't in there alone, wasn't usin' the phone

The door was locked for twenty minutes, all I heard was, "Moan"

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

I don't really know if the story is so

I can either ask Curly, or Larry, or Moe

Or Earl, Shabazz, Lou, Mookie, or Joe

Like Santa Claus said, you're a ho-ho-ho

In every disco, you say hello

Like you're a little angel, but we all know

Since you was eleven, you been actin' this way

You always got in bed when you wanted to play

You're a freak, you think you're Lady Godiva

Some freaks are live, but Yvette, you're liver

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

You're a back seat queen, a elevator pro

A high powered body makes your Levi's grow

See, the stories I've heard, they could amaze

I heard she did it on a motorcycle back in the days

So calm down freak, get a GED

That's a general education on decency

One day you'll see, and agree with me

Unless you're gonna be a freak until you're ninety-three

For you, there's no fee, everything is free

This is from me to you, not you to me

Every night is your night, your leather pants are tight

You try to shake your butt with all your might

I don't really wanna diss nobody

You might think I had a little too much Bacardi

But that's not the problem, the problem's Yvette

How bad can a girl's reputation get?

See, she's the kinda girl all the homeboys met

If you're desperate, ask Yvette, 'cause she'll say, "Bet"

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

B-Boys are hard on the boulevard

The reverend at the church said you was barred

Homeboys on the block love you a lot

You're a real famous freak whether you like it or not

So before you start walkin' and your break starts squawkin'

Let me explain to you who is talkin'

I'm LL Cool J from around the way

You boogie down to my records almost every day

Go a hundred miles an hour when you're standin' still

You're faster than my Caddy when it's goin' downhill

Won't forget that day in the YMCA

The guy at the desk said it was okay

For you to come inside 'cause he knew you'd stay

Greg G and Garfield yelled, "Hooray"

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette

Dear Yvette