Interrogation Song

Kermit, let's begin

Describe the day you played Berlin

We rehearsed and then we walked about

We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut

That night at 10:03

Were you inside the portrait gallery?

From 10 o'clock till 10:04

Was when we did the show's encore

Hmm, frog, we've got our doubts

Can you confirm your whereabouts?

My alibi is watertight

The audience saw me sing all night

Monsieur, we know you did the crime

I was on stage that whole time

Ask who sang Rainbow Connection

Thank you, Kermit, no more questions

Hello, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop

Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside

Now's your chance to save your hide

Oh, gentlemen, I did not know

It's a crime to steal the show

Tell us how the art was taken

If you want to save your bacon

I haven't seen your missing art

All I've stolen is audience hearts

We can give you a plea deal

All you have to do is squeal

I'm not a thief, I don't know how

All I've ever taken is a bow

We'll catch the swine that did this job

Give up the pig puns, creep

Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion

Thank you, Piggy, no more questions

I think she likes me

I don't think your puns are helping the investigation

You know, I think they did it

No, they didn't

Yes, they did and we can pin it

If they did, how did they do it?

If they didn't, how did they didn't?

If they didn't, then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it

If they did it, then I knew it, but we've nothing that can prove it

Uh, oh, excuse me

Bring in the purple guy with the shnozz

Do you remember what you did

On the night you played Madrid?

I was hit by a raging bull

And rushed off stage to the hospital

Gonzo, what do you know

About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?

I never saw the stolen busts

I spent the night in bed concussed

The truth, Gonzo, the clock is tickin'

If you don't believe me, ask the chicken

Camilla was there, she'll cooperate

Madam, are you willing to corroborate?

Bawk, bawk, begawk, begawk, gawk, gawk

Will somebody get this chicken out of here?

Calm down, Camilla, it's a routine inspection

Thank you, Gonzo, no more questions

Let's go from the start

What do you know about the stolen art?

I didn't know there was a plan

Your accusation's far out, man

The chances of us committing a crime

Are less than point-zero-zero-nine

Shern de shern de gern de herf

Sher de chicky en de farney herg

To help with our investigation

Can you do a full translation?

What the chef just said to you

Was, "Schnoop de schnoop de schnoo"

It's not Swedish

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ha-ha-ha-ha

Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk

Uh, I can do an Elvis impression

Thank you, Muppets, no more questions

They didn't

No, they didn't

There's no way they did the crime

They couldn't, they're too stupid

They're not criminal masterminds

We do not know who did it

But we know who didn't do it

So we know who didn't to it

Yes, we know who didn't do it

They're incapable of being culpable