4 Your Eyez Only

Yeah, for your eyes only (for your eyes)

For your eyes only, for your eyes only (for your eyes)

For your eyes only

Hey, **** be dying on the daily

It seems my dreams faded for far too long, the consequence is deadly

Can't visualize myself as nothing but a criminal

Control the block, serving up rocks, and stay subliminal

'Cause young **** is hardheaded, they letting off

Full of adrenaline, ignorant to what death can cause

Ain't no coming back, family dressed in black

Plus it's hot now, the cops outside, It's hard to flip a pack

And my daughter gotta eat

Her mama be stressing me like I ain't the one who put them Jays on her feet

Like I ain't out in the field like that

I might be low for the moment, but I will bounce back

Despite the charges, back to the wall, I fight regardless

Screaming "fuck the law", my life is lawless, that's what you call it

Ain't gotta be no psychic to see this is like the farthest thing from heaven

This is hell and I don't mean that hyperbolic

I tried to find employment even if it's wiping toilets

But these felonies be making life the hardest

Resisting the temptation to run up and swipe a wallet

Or run up on your yard, snatch your daughter bike and pawn it

That's why I write this sonnet

If the pressure get too much for me to take and I break

Play this tape for my daughter and let her know my life is on it

(For your eyes) Let her know my life is on it

(For your eyes)

For your eyes only

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes

You probably grown now so this song'll hit you

If you hearing this, unfortunately means that I'm no longer with you

In the physical, not even sure if I believe in God

But because you still alive

It got me praying that the spiritual is real

So I can be a part of you still

My pops was killed too

So I know how part of you feels

Maybe you hate me, maybe you miss me

Maybe you spite me

Life goes in cycles

Maybe you'll date a **** just like me

I hope not, I'm tired of dope spots

And fiends that smoke rocks

I seen far too many ****' hopes rot

I'm writing this because me and the devil had a dance

Now I see death around the corner, apologizing in advance

Don't know if I ever had a chance

At a glance, I'm a failure

Addicted to pushing paraphernalia

But daddy had dreams once, my eyes had a gleam once

Innocence disappeared, by the age of eight years

My pops shot up, drug related

Mama addicted

So granny raised me in projects where thugs was hanging

Blood was staining the concrete

Older **** I loved talked like they was above maintaining a timesheet

That's slow money, picked up the family business

By the age of thirteen, six years later was handed sentence

'Round the same time as when you came in this world

Me and your mama thinking

What the fuck we naming this girl?

I told her Nina, the prettiest name that I could think of

For the prettiest thing my eyes had ever seen, I was nineteen

It took me two felonies to see the trap

This crooked ass system set for me

And now I fear it's too late for me to ever be

The one that set examples that was never set for me

I'm living fast, but not fast enough

'Cause karma keeps on catching up to me

And if my past becomes the death of me

I hope you understand

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes, do you understand me?

For your eyes, do you understand?

For your eyes

It's several ways I coulda went out, too many to count

Was it the trigger happy crackers that the badges give clout?

Was it the young **** blasting, frustrated 'cause the cash running out?

**** don't know how to act in a drought

See baby girl I realize my definition of a real ****

Was skewed, my views misshaped by new mixtapes

That confirmed the shit I learned in the streets was true

That real **** don't speak when they beef with you

They just pull up on your street, let the heat ahchoo

And if a real **** hungry he gon' eat your food

I was a fool

Spend all my time ducking school, ducking cops

Ducking rules, hugging blocks that don't love you

I pray you find a **** with goals and point of views

Much broader than the corner, if not, it's gon' corner you

Into a box, swear your son don't even know his pops

And the cyclical nature of doing time continues

My worst fear is one day that you come home from school

And see your father fate while hearing 'bout tragedy on news

I got the strangest feeling your Daddy gonna lose his life soon

And sadly if you listening now, it must mean it's true

But maybe there's a chance that it's not

And this album remains locked

In a hard drive like valuable jewels

And I could teach you this in person like I'm teaching you to tie your own shoes

I love you, and I hope to God I don't lose you

For your eyes only

For your eyes

For your eyes only

For your eyes

For your eyes only

For your eyes, do you understand, for your eyes only

One day your daddy called me, told me he had a funny feeling

What he been dealing with lately, he wasn't telling

I tried to pick his brains, still he wasn't revealing

But I could feel the sense of panic in his voice and it was chilling

He said, "Jermaine, I knew you since we was children

I never asked for nothing

When times was hard I never had discussions with you begging you to help me

I dealt with the repercussions of my actions

I know you tried to steer me away from that shit

But that shit was in blood, you know my life

I know your mama ****, send my love

In case I never get a chance to speak again

I won't forget the weekends spent sleeping at your crib

That's the way I wish my family lived

But my granny crib was in the 'jects"

I had to interject, like "**** what you talking 'bout? Fuck is you getting at?"

He said, "Listen, I got no time to dive into descriptions

But I been having premonitions, just call it visions from the other side

I got a feeling I won’t see tomorrow, like the time I’m living on is borrowed

With that said, the only thing I’m proud to say I was a father

Write my story down and if I pass go play it for my daughter when she ready"

And so I’m leaving you this record for your eyes only

Don’t you ever scratch or disrespect it

This perspective is a real one, another lost 'Ville son

I dedicate these words to you and all the other children

Affected by the mass incarceration in this nation

That sent your pops to prison when he needed education

Sometimes I think that segregation woulda done us better

Although, I know that means that that I would never

Be brought into this world

'Cause my daddy was so thrilled

When he found him a white girl

To take back to Jonesboro

With lil’ Zach and Cole World barely one years old

Now it’s thirty years later making sure the story’s told

Girl your daddy was a real ****, not 'cause he was cold

Not because he was the first to get some pussy twelve years old

Not because he used to come through in the Caddy on some vogues

Not because he went from bagging up them grams to serving Os

Nah your daddy was a real ****, not 'cos he was hard

Not because he lived a life of crime and sat behind some bars

Not because he screamed fuck the law, although that was true

Your daddy was a real **** 'cause he loved you

For your eyes only