Nanook Rubs It

Well, right about that time, people

A fur-trapper

Who was strictly from commercial

(Strictly commercial)

Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo

(Peek-a-boo, oou-ooh-ooh)

And he started in to whippin' on my favorite baby seal

With a lead-filled snow shoe

I said, "With a lead

(Lead)

Filled

(Lead-filled)

A lead-filled snow shoe"

(Snow shoe)

He said, "Peek-a-boo"

(Peek-a-boo)

With a lead

(Lead)

Filled

(Lead-filled)

With a lead-filled snow shoe"

(Snow shoe)

He said, "Peek-a-boo"

(Peek-a-boo)

He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal

He went, "Whap"

With a lead-filled snow shoe

And he hit him on the nose

And he hit him on fin and he

That got me just about as evil as an Eskimo boy can be

So, I bent down and I reached down and I scooped down

And I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly

(Yellow snow)

The deadly, yellow snow from right there where the huskies go

Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful

Of the deadly yellow snow crystals

And rub it all into his beady little eyes

With a vigorous circular motion

Hitherto unknown to the people in this area

But destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology

Here it goes now, the circular motion, rub it

(Here Fido)

(Here Fido)

And then, in a fit of anger, I

I pounced

And I pounced again

Great googly-moogly

I jumped up an down the chest of the

I injured the fur-trapper

Well, he was very upset

As you can understand

And rightly so, because

The deadly, yellow snow crystals

Had deprived him of his sight

And he stood up

And he looked around

And he said

"I can't see"

"I can't see"

"Oh, woe is me"

"I can't see"

No, no

I can't see

He took a dog-doo snow-cone

And stuffed it in my right eye

He took a dog-doo snow-cone

And stuffed it in my other eye

And the huskie wee-wee

I mean the doggie wee-wee has blinded me

And I can't see

Temporarily

Well, the fur trapper

Stood there

With his arms outstretched

Across the frozen, white wasteland

Trying to figure out what he's gonna do

About his deflicted eyes

And it was at that precise moment that he remembered

An ancient Eskimo legend

Wherein it is written

On whatever it is that they write it on up there

That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes

As a result of some sort of conflict

With anyone named Nanook

The only way you can get it fixed up

Is to go trudgin' across the tundra

Mile after mile

Trudgin' across the tundra

Right down to the parish of Saint Alphonzo