My Father's a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist

My father's a homo, my mother's not thrilled at all

Father homo, what about chromosomes?

Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the hobo now?

My father said that one day I'll grow up to be president

And that idea's not so wild

I don't need the life of a normal child

Because I'm too smart for my own good

And I'm too good for my sorry little life

My mother's no wife

And my father's no man, no man at all

Honey, why don't you go out and play? (No)

Sweetheart, I worry, sweetheart, I do

I worry a lot, I worry a lot, I worry a lot

I could take you to the Jewish center (ehh)

I think you'll like playing chess alone

That's not normal (what is normal?)

I wouldn't know

Why don't you speak on the telephone with anyone?

Just get a friend, anyone!

Darling, please see a psychiatrist

He's quite a guy, and I admire how he acts

No one is saying you're a sick neurotic, but you could find some help

Hear me out, please, yes, you could find some help

He could help you realize

How confused you are is very clear

Daddy's sincere, but a schmo!

You and I must trust our emotions, make no commotions, will you go?

No!

Jason, please see a psychiatrist

He's just a psychiatrist

I'll pay the bill until you're old

Jason, please see a psychiatrist (darling please listen to your father here) (I'll not go)

He's just a psychiatrist (he's not a genius type, Lord knows, but he knows what's true)

I'll pay the bill until you're old (he chose a man who I think knows the answers to all your problems) (Never, never, never, never, never)

Understands what's bothering you (forget it!)

What a mess this is this family

Experts can see this is so

Photographs can't capture our magic

We're simply tragic

Will you go?

No

Jason, please see a psychiatrist

He's not

I won't say boo

Exorbitant

And he's very smart

If intelligence were the only criterion

Then I really wouldn't need a psychiatrist, would I?

No

Would I?

No

Just because you failed as parents?

Jet thee to a psychiatrist!

Hey, kid, listen!

I don't need

He needs a psychiatrist!

I want

A psychiatrist!

I want to speak with Whizzer!

Speak with whom?

With Whizzer!

With Whizzer! With Whizzer! With Whizzer!

Oh, my God

Whizzer!

Whizzer!

Whizzer!

Whizzer!

Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist?

I'm not sure, Jason

Ow

Jason, maybe so (hmm-mm)

Absolutely, Jason

Okay, I'll go

He'll go (I'll go)

He'll go

If he comes here

If he comes here

He might come here

They don't make house calls

Oh