Positive

Make me, make me sweat

Till I'm wet, till I'm dry

But then wipe this tear from my eye

Haven't even felt this warm in a long time

Even out in the bright sunshine

In a lifetime of springtimes

I fall into your arms with my heart pumpin' on

Like a bubbling dub track

Like a garlicky hot tongue and lip smack

I did some contemplation

Before we got down to this consecration

Or maybe, baby, something in your kiss said it was an impetus

For me to re-think this

If I love you

Then I better get tested

Make sure we are protected

I walk through the park dressed like a question mark

Hark, I hear my memory bark in the back of my brain

Makin' me insane

Like cocaine

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

How am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

It dawned on me, it seemed to me

That this is unusual scenery

This red light greenery

Make me feel kinda dreamery

Thinkin' how I used to be

Arrive at the clinic and walk through the front door

I take a nervous number, then I'm thinkin' some more

About all the times that I neglected

Makin' sure that I was protected

They took my blood with an anonymous number

Two weeks, waitin' and wonderin'

I should've done this a long time ago

A lot of excuses why I couldn't go

I know these things, and these things I must know

'Cause it's better to know than to not know

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

How am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

I go home to kick it in my apartment

I try to give myself a risk assessment

The waiting is what can really annoy ya

Every single day is more paranoia

I'm readin' about how it gets transmitted

Some behavior, I must admit it

With who I slept with and who they slept with

Who they, who they, who they, who they slept with

I think about life and immortality

What's the first thing I do if I'm HIV?

I have a cry and tell my mother

Get on the phone and call my past lovers

I never thought about infecting another

The times that I said, "Hmm, don't bother"

Was it really all that magic?

The times I didn't use a prophylactic

Would my whole life have to change?

Or my whole life remained the same?

Sometimes, it makes me wanna shout

All these things too hard to think about

A day to laugh, a day to cry

A day to live and a day to die

Till I find out, I may wonder

But I'm not gonna live my life six feet under

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

How am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?

Is it gonna be a negative?

But how am I gonna live my life if I'm positive?