High Plains Drifter

'Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter and I'm the Drifter

The High Plains Drifter and I'm the Drifter

They can't catch me, they're never gonna find me

They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter

Pulled over to the river to take a rest

Pulled out a pair of pliers, pulled the bullet out of my chest

Fear and loathing across the country, listening to my 8-track

I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the pack

A long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular

She said that she was sorry and I said, "Yeah, the hell you were"

Check the rear view mirror, check the gold tooth display

Check out the odometer

And I was on my way

'Cause I'm the High Plains Drifter, the best that you can get

A strapped shoplifter, a pirate on cassette

Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed

Don't step to me 'cause you're gonna get mushed

I'm doing 120, plowing over mailboxes

Radar detector to tell me where the cops is

Spend another night at the Motel 6

It's five dollars extra to get the porno flicks

Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter

I'm a kleptomaniac K-mart shoplifter

Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job

I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob

I left my car outside and the engine still revvin'

Time to get busy at 7-Eleven (Taking care of business at 7-Eleven)

I went inside to make my withdrawal

I saw what he had had but I had to take it all

Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me off the price

So I clocked him on the turban with the bag of ice

'Cause I'm mel-lel-low like jel-lel-lo, cool like lemonade

I made my get away and I then thought that I had it made

I feel like Steve McQueen, a former movie star

Looked in my rearview mirror seen the police car

Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap

I couldn't help to notice I was caught in a speed trap

Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, on the run from Dirty Harry

Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry

I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night

I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right

The cop knocked on my window and said, "Boy, where's the fire?"

"You got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire"

"Outta the car longhair!"

"Your goose is cooked"

Read me my rights, fingerprinted and booked

Making like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury

Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry

Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury

I'm the High Plains Drifter and you now I'm never in a hurry

Read me my rights as if I didn't know this

Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis

With his 5 o'clock shadow, he smelled of three-day-old beer

My man turned to me and said, "Why are you here?"

I said, "I'm charming and dashing, I'm rental car bashing"

"I'm phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing"

I went before the judge, he sent me to the Brooklyn house of D

He said, "You behave or we'll throw away the key"

Houdini'd out the cuffs, I kicked the screw in the knee

I took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.

I had a good feeling, easy come, easy go

I bet on one horse to win and another to show

And sure enough that nag came in

Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win

And then I broke into my new car (With a wire coat hanger)

Hot wired, hot wheeled and "Suzy is a headbanger"