Medicine Show

Get three coffins ready

Huh? Ah

Covered wagon, medicine show

Take you to a place where the healing flows, ooh-ho

Weak in spirit we got the juice

Won't save your soul it'll shine your shoes, oh

Treated king to kangaroo

Santa Fe to Timbuktu, oh-ho

Don't be fooled by imitation

This is the stuff that cured a nation

We took the tube and the high plains too

Never stopped long just passing through

A drop of the laughter of the maids of France

Makes a hopeless cripple dance, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Whoa-ho

In India we're all the rave

Discovered that it's great as aftershave, oh-ho

Dropped in the sea just off Japan

Swapped twenty bottles for an aqua-walkman, oh

Immunity from ridicule

Improves your brains if you're a fool, oh-ho

And I read in the Middle East

Traded some for a hostage release

Now if you're bald it'll give you hair

If you've got straight trousers it'll give you flares

Feeling up, you'll get depressed

Out of style here's a brand new dress, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Who the hell is that? One bastard goes in, another one comes out

Turn around, turn around

Turn around, turn around

I'm innocent of anything

You making some kind of joke?

Oh, no

I don't think it's nice, you laughing

The stuff we sell is just the best

Passing all consumer tests, oh-ho

Days of heaven, nights of sin

Voodoo stick and shark's fin

When all around you seems like hell

Just one sip will make you well, oh-ho

Multi-purpose in a jar

If you ain't ill it'll fix your car

In days of yore for all bad feelings

Washing socks and stripping ceilings

Nowadays it's used medicinally

For all known human malady, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Whoa-ho

Wanted in fourteen counties of this state

The condemned is found guilty of the crimes

Of murder, armed robbery of citizens

State banks, and post offices, the theft of

Sacred objects, arson in a state prison

Perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children

Inciting prostitution, kidnapping

Extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods

Passing counterfeit money

And contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned

Is guilty of using marked cards and

Therefore, according to the power

Vested in us

We sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan

Maria Ramirez

(Known as the Rat)

And any other aliases he might have

To hang by the neck until dead

May God have mercy on his soul, proceed

Duck, you sucker

I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges