A Little Priest

That's all very well

But what are we gonna do about him?

Later on when it's dark

We'll take it to some secret place and bury him

Oh yeah, of course we could do that

Don't suppose he's got any relatives

Gonna come poking around looking for him

Seems a downright shame

Shame?

Seems an awful waste

Such a nice plump frame

What's his name has, had, has?

Nor he can't be traced

Business needs a lift

Debts to be erased

Think of it as thrift, as a gift

If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste

I mean, with the price of meat, what it is

When you get it, if you get it

Ah!

Good, you got it

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop

Business never better, using only pussycats and toast

Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most

And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

Eminently practical

Well, it does seem a waste

And yet appropriate as always

Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years, I'll never know

Think about it

How delectable

Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be comin' for a shave, won't they?

Also undetectable

How choice, how rare

Think of all them pies

For what's the sound of the world out there?

What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?

Those crunching noises pervading the air

Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around

It's man devouring man, my dear

Then who are we to deny it in here?

These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett

Desperate measures are called for

Here we are, hot out of the oven

What is that?

It's priest, have a little priest

Is it really good?

Sir, it's too good, at least

Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh

So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat

Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

No, you see, the trouble with poet is

How do you know it's deceased?

Try the priest

Lawyer's rather nice

If it's for a price

Order something else, though, to follow

Since no one should swallow it twice

Anything that's lean?

Well, then, if you're British and loyal

You might enjoy royal marine

Anyway, it's clean

Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been

Is that squire on the fire?

Mercy no, sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer

Looks thicker, more like vicar

No, it has to be grocer, it's green

The history of the world, my love

Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors

Is those below serving those up above?

Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors

How gratifying for once to know

That those above will serve those down below

What is that?

It's fop, finest in the shop

Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top

And I've just begun

Here's the politician, so oily

It's served with a doily, have one

Put it on a bun

Well, you never know if it's going to run

Try the friar, fried, it's drier

No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy

Then actor, it's compacter

Ah, but always arrives overdone

I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world, my pet

Yes, yes, I know, my love

We'll take the customers that we can get

High-born and low, my love

We'll not discriminate great from small

No, we'll serve anyone

Meaning anyone

We'll serve anyone

And to anyone at all!