Misery Island

There's a concierge with a deadpan stare

Let him take your bags, let him comb your hair

Not a friend in sight, but the views are clean

Nothing tastes as good as you thought it'd be

But it's honest, and it's mean

It's not here or there, it's in between

Welcome to Misery Island

We're so glad that you called

Your reservation is timeless

Once you're on, it's so hard to get off

Welcome to Misery Island, yeah

And we've seen your type many times before

In imagined fights with a losing score

You would fit right in, you're a welcome guest

Shout obscenities, get 'em off your chest

It's so easy to give up

If you're feeling down, well, you're in luck

Welcome to Misery Island

We're so glad that you called

Your reservation is timeless

Once you're on, it's so hard to get off

Welcome to Misery Island

The champagne is lukewarm

Keep burning out till you find it

Come right in

Just collapse on the floor

Welcome to Misery Island, yeah

You know that we can pick you up and check you in

Little sunshine apocalypse

Good times don't end 'cause they don't begin

Let us take you home

Welcome to Misery Island

We're so glad that you called

Your reservation is timeless

Once you're on, it's so hard to get off

Welcome to Misery Island

The champagne is lukewarm

Keep burning out till you find it

Come right in

Just collapse on the floor

Welcome to Misery Island, yeah

Welcome to Misery Island, yeah