mental // prison

Split wrist

Pull it back or call it quits

Pain pushing addict, suffering in silence

Medicated to block out the violence

Short sighted, with a chip on my shoulder, I'm trying

To push it down but soon reminded that the hurt just keeps on biting

And wounds break open from time to time

Maybe if you've stitched your scars

But the blood still pours from mine

"Stop the bleeding, give it a rest", they said

But I promise I'm begging for the end

Survival of the fittest, but why am I fighting

To live in a mental prison?

Biding my time to stay alive

Buying time till I die

In a cycle of violence that carousels in my mind

Keep twisting the knife

Your words never seem to catch up with your actions

People are a game to you, you thrive off their reactions

Distractions, obsessed with lust and attraction, control and attachment

Don't learn from the past and

You hate yourself I know, but you hate to see me go

Afraid you might end up alone but you reap what you sow

Scary to think about if shit came to the surface

If people knew the real you, would have it been worth it?

"Stop the bleeding, give it a rest", they said

But I promise I'm begging for the end

Survival of the fittest, but why am I fighting

To live in a mental prison?

Biding my time to stay alive

Buying time till I die

In a cycle of violence that carousels in my mind

Keep twisting the knife

Salt to the wound

Whenever I think about you

It's been a year since I left

A year of me trying to make it make sense

Not sure what's worse

These fucked up feelings, the fact that it still hurts

What will it get you to stop?

What will it take?

I've always bit the bullet

To spare someone the pain

While I'm gutted from the inside

You held the fucking blade

Near six years of my life

Now it's all a waste

All the times I trusted you

When I should have walked away

You'll always be my biggest mistake

I've always bit the bullet just to spare you the pain

Still gutted from the fucking inside

Reminded of you everyday

Near six years of my life, I'll continue to save face

Even though I know, I loved you

You'll always be my biggest mistake