Sparrow

I hold a breath in, start counting seconds

One, two, three, four, five

I miss my exit

Let out the breath down on the 99

Anticipation. Sometimes the waiting is the hardest part

I overthink, then control my breathing

Then it all restarts

I think I'm managing

But panic comes in waves

I don't think I know how to explain

And I talk too much now anyway

But when I'm in it, then I'm in it

Then in a minute I'm alright

In the next I will turn to a friend

And tell them I have always been fine

The repetition

Of every clear thought through a clouded mind

The repetition

In how I seek out faults I predefine

I contradict myself with every time I say

"I don't let this define me,"

Then find I keep changing my plans anyways

But when I'm in it, then I'm in it

Then in a minute I'm alright

In the next I will turn to a friend

And tell them I have always been fine

I see a reflection

Somehow different but mine still

While passing all these rooftops

In places where there once were hills

I could use a distraction

Basically hiding, but it helps

Because if I give this a name

It makes it all real