18 Moving South

My therapist said I was experiencing

Disenfranchised grief

When I say it out loud

It sounds like a cop out for being 23

Where do I go from here

If I can’t move on

Will this past year

Bury me til I’m gone

Wish my dad still had his jeep

I’d take it out now

Drive down side streets

Top down to my best friend’s house

Singing Cigarette Dreams

Until we grew out

Of each other and the people in this town

Or was that just me

18 moving south

Thinking I was better than them now

I can count on one hand

The friends I have left

In this town who like me

Spent all of this time

Letting those friendships die

Now it’s come to bite me

Avoiding downtown

It’s a mile a from her house

What would I say to her

When you needed me the most

Acted like I didn’t know

Now it’s been five years

Wish my dad still had his jeep

I’d take it out now

Drive down side streets

Top down to my best friend’s house

Singing “Cigarette Daydreams”

Until we grew out

Of each other and the people in this town

Or was that just me

18 moving south

Thinking I was better than them

Home for December

Tiptoe down the stairs

I remember living under this roof

I remember the lies I told to see you

Who I was to you in 2015

Not the girl that you see

Avoiding you at all costs

There are parts of me that never grew up

Suburban town

Teenage freak

Midwest bitch

Believe my dreams

Acing small talk

Diverting eyes

Your sister hates me

I was surprised

Drop me off

Lewis Ave.

10 years older

I’ve lost a friend

Blink twice

Grab my hand

Pretend like

I don’t remember it