Seeing Stars

I tell myself it's black and white

Either I'm too weak or I'm dying inside

If I told you the truth I'd be delusional

Today I'm sick but tomorrow I'm beautiful

Won't even see the tip of the ice

Passing out in the shower will give me a high

I'm not losing enough of anything but my mind

But you don't wanna hear it

I'm 'pretty' aren't I?

Can't tell you that I'm on the fucking floor

Crying in the bathroom

At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum

Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space

God I wish it wasn't this way

But I'm only seeing stars because I have to

I drink three cups of coffee a day

So I don't feel myself start to slip away

And maybe this time I can go forty-eight

Drown myself in baggy clothes

Just to sleep the hours away

And finally I won't feel anything

It's a war I guess I'll fight alone

They don't think it's real unless you're skin and bones

And here I am on the fucking floor

Crying in the bathroom

At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum

Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space

God I wish it wasn't this way

But I'm only seeing stars because I have to

Because I have to

Nothing gets you through pain

Like knowing it's worth it

There's no reward if you haven't suffered for it

Won't tell you that I'm on the fucking floor

Crying in the bathroom

At the table staring at an empty fork like it's a vacuum

Believe me I swear I'm okay, I'll take up less space

And God, I wish it wasn't this way

But I'm only seeing stars because I have to

Can't tell you that I'm only seeing stars because I have to

Because I have to