complex (live with strings)

I'm twenty-one

The edge is razor thin

Between being numb and feeling everything

Good days only serve as relief again

Now I'm watching as I waste away my days

And then

It's a cross dissolve

It's a scene I've played before

And the leading role that I thought I'd hold

Doesn't listen to me anymore

But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife

We won't be together, but maybe the next life

I need him like water, he lives on a landslide

I cry in his bathroom, he turns off the big light

I'm being a cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight

I carry him home while my friends have a good night

I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright

I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy

But it's complex

It's a complex

Triangular, I can see them now

Three points at which I let myself down

I was just a girl, what's the excuse now?

Too regular, this pattern

I've been taking shelter in reaching new highs

When I was nineteen, I wanted to die

Now I just want to kill you

But I don't want to paint you the victim

And I talk a good game

I'd die for just the promise you'd listen

But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife

We won't be together, but maybe the next life

I need him like water, he lives on a landslide

I cry in his bathroom, he turns off the big light

I'm being a cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight

I carry him home while my friends have a good night

I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright

I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy

But it's complex

It's a complex

It's a complex

I'm the complex