Ho! Ho! Ho! (Who'd Be A Turkey At Christmas)

(Oh, lovely it is

I love the vocal talent)

Sittin' here on Christmas Eve with a brandy in my hand

Oh, I've had a few too many and it's gettin' hard to stand

I keep hearin' noises from my fireplace

I must be goin' crazy or the brandy's won the race

And I keep hearin'

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

On my roof there's snorting sounds and bells inside my head

My vision's blurred with color and all I see is red (all he see is red)

There's a pair of large sized wellies (Wellies!) That's coming down my flue

And the smell of burnin' rubber, oh, it's fillin' up the room

And I keep hearin' (five, six, seve, eight)

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

And here he comes now

And we keep hearin'

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! He! He! He!

What frivolity for me

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here? (Happy Christmas, everybody)

Your fat and jolly friend draws near

Ho! Ho! Ho! Surprise, surprise

The bearded weirdy's just arrived

Ho! Ho! Ho! Guess who's here?

Your fat and jolly friend draws near...