Holy Water

Somewhere inside them back Florida pines

There's a town with a Choctaw name

There's a little white church in a real tight curve

On the edge of a field full of grain

Yeah, the preacher was a standup man shakin' hands

Every Sunday mornin' at the door

He loved his congregation, but he ran an operation

Sellin' more than the word of the Lord

And he called it holy water

He called it holy water, yeah

He bought a brand new Lincoln, had a couple deacons thinkin'

It was more than he could afford

They knew somethin' was up when he was shuttin' his trunk

At the church around one in the mornin'

When he was out of sight, they snuck around inside

And found a door leadin' under the ground

They popped the lock on the latch

Walked down and flashed their lights, and guess what they found

A cellar full of holy water

No one knows where it comes from, buddy

But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky

Got the whole damn southeast side of the country

Linin' up to pay top dollar

Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'

It burns like hell, get you high like heaven, and Lord

Have mercy if they knew where they were gettin' that holy water

Well, the deacons pulled up to his house in a truck

With the proof all crystal clear

He tried to play it off but he knew he was caught

So he said, "Brothers, listen here

You can call the law or you can keep a secret

I'll cut you in and we can call it even"

Next Sunday mornin' 'round ten o' clock

There was two more Lincolns in the parkin' lot

No one knows where it comes from, buddy

But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky

Got the whole damn southeast side of the country

Linin' up to pay top dollar

Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'

It burns like hell, get you high like heaven, and Lord

Have mercy if they knew where they were gettin' that holy water

Now, there's new stained glass, new pews front to back

Nobody even asked no questions

And a sign out front with some letters readin'

John, Chapter two, verse 1:11