Fake Smiles

It's like

The more I try, the less I feel

In desperate need of something real

Why lately I ain't been the same

And why I try so hard to hide this pain

I search but I can't ever find

Can't seem to leave my past behind

'Cause all the ones I hoped would stay

Are all the ones that fade away

Truth is, I think about you often

I miss your voice, I miss your smile that I used to get lost in

I know you know I have this thing for you, I never lost it

I think I just lost myself in the midst of the nonsense

9 times out of 10, I'd close my eyes and dream about you

Don't know what it was, but you just had this thing about you

Lately we've been distant, see, I just can't be without you

And my soul got so attached to yours, I can't be me without you

But we hate ourselves because we run from the people we love

And we all hold onto the past 'cause we miss what it was

Don't wanna feel, so we try numbing the pain with these drugs

Living in hell 'cause we lost faith in the place up above

My anxiety is breaking me, it kills me

I'm living in a world so fake, I lost touch of the real me

Had to take a look back, just to ask me if I'm still me

Would I still stand for this if they wanted to kill me?

I can't take it no more, I just can't take it no more

I can't smile like I'm okay, I just can't fake it no more

I can't act like I've been happy and complacent no more

'Cause every time I try to change, it is the same as before

My karma's coming, my karma's coming, it's weighing in

I'm drinking till all my feelings just fade away again

And, mama, she always told me, this ain't a way to live

But when you feel what I'm feeling, that's just the way it is

I'm trying not to break down but I just can't hide this pain

Saw myself in the mirror and I'm just not the same

But who's to blame?

I guess we all change

We hurt the ones we love because of our pain

It's like

The more I try, the less I feel

In desperate need of something real

Why lately I ain't been the same

And why I try so hard to hide this pain

I search but I can't ever find

Can't seem to leave my past behind

'Cause all the ones I hoped would stay

Are all the ones that fade away

Are all the ones that fade away

Are all the ones that fade away