Carissa

Oh, Carissa, when I first saw you you were a lovely child

And last time I saw you you were fifteen and pregnant, running wild

I remember wondering, could there be a light at the end of your tunnel?

But I left Ohio then and had pretty much forgotten all about you

I guess you were there some years ago at a family funeral

But you were one of so many relatives I didn't know which one was you

Yesterday morning I woke up to so many 3-3-0 area code calls

I called my mom back and she was in tears and asked had I spoke to my father

Carissa burned to death last night in a freak accident fire

In her yard in Brewster, her daughter came home from a party and found her

Same way as my uncle who was her grandfather

An aerosol can blew up in the trash

God damn, what were the odds?

She was just getting ready to go to her midnight shift as an RN in Wadsworth

And she vanished up in flames like that, but there had to be more to her life's worth

Everyone's grieving out of their minds, making arrangements and taking drugs

But I'm flying out there tomorrow because I need to give and get some hugs

'Cause I got questions that I'd like to get answered

I may never get them, but, Carissa, I gotta know how did it happen?

Carissa was thirty-five

You don't just raise two kids and take out your trash and die

She was my second cousin

I didn't know her well at all, but it don't mean that I wasn't

Meant to find some poetry

To make some sense of this, to find a deeper meaning

In this senseless tragedy

Oh, Carissa, I'll sing your name across every sea

Were you doing someone else's chores for them?

Were you just killing time, finding things to do all by your lonesome

Was it even you who mistakenly put flammables in the trash?

Was it your kids just being kids?

If so the guilt they will carry around forever

Well, I'm going out there to get a look at the landscapes

To get a look at those I'm connected by blood

And see how it all may have shaped me

Well, I'm going out there though I'm not really needed

I'm just so broken up about it, how is it that this sad history repeated?

I'll return to Ohio, to the place I was spawned

Gonna see where I hung with my cousins

And played with them in the snow and fished in their ponds

Gonna see how they've grown, visit some graves, and say, hey, I've missed you

Gonna find out as much as I can about my little second cousin, Carissa

Gonna go to Ohio, where I was born

Got a 10:45 AM flight, I'm leaving tomorrow morning

Gonna see my aunts and uncles, my parents and sisters

Mostly I'm going to pay my respects to my little second cousin, Carissa

Going to Ohio, where, for now, I feel I belong

Ask those who know the most about Carissa

For it is her life and death that I am helplessly drawn

Carissa was thirty-five

Raised kids since she was fifteen years old and suddenly died

Next to an old brick fire pit, oh, there's gotta be more than that to it

She was only my second cousin, but it don't mean that I'm not here for her or that I wasn't

Meant to give her life poetry or to make sure her name is known across every city