Getting Older

I'm getting older

I think I'm aging well

I wish someone had told me, I'd be doing this by myself

There's reasons that I'm thankful

There's a lot I'm grateful for

But it's different when a stranger's always waiting at your door

Which is ironic

'Cause the strangers seem to want me more than anyone before (Anyone before)

Too bad, they're usually deranged

Last week, I realized I crave pity, when I retell a story

I make everything sound worse

Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing

And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed

Which is ironic

Because when I wasn't honest, I was still being ignored (Lying for attention just to get neglection)

Now we're estranged

Things I once enjoyed

Just keep me employed now

Things I'm longing for, someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird

That we care so much, until we don't

I'm getting older

I've got more on my shoulders

But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong

I'm happier than ever

At least that's my endeavor

To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure

'Cause to be honest

I just wish that, what I promise would depend on what I'm given (Not on his permission, wasn't my decision)

To be abused, mmm

Things I once enjoyed

Just keep me employed now, mmm

Things I'm longing for, someday, I'll be bored of

It's so weird

That we care so much, until we don't

But next week

I hope I'm somewhere laughing, for anybody asking

I promise I'll be fine

I've had some trauma, did things I didn't wanna, was too afraid to tell ya, but now I think it's time