Malevolent Thoughts

Unwelcome visions of my demise

Creeping, sneaking into my mind

Veins collapsing as capillaries burst

Trachea crushed in the death knot

Gravity pulls me into the world below

The traffic light turns green

The cars behind me all blaring their horns

In synchronicity

How long have I

Been held captive by these intrusive thoughts?

Fantasizing

Of a world without me

Unwillingly

These disfiguring phantasms

Ever lingering in my dreams

You aren't welcome here

Still my beating heart

Alleviate the burden of existence

Still my beating heart

Forevermore

I don't wanna feel

I don't wanna feel like this

Anymore

Notions of self-conclusion writhe like worms

In fertile soil

Will those whom I've left behind forgive me

For succumbing

To the voice in my head that says I'm better off dead?

I can't help but to believe it

Reflections yelling back at me admonishing

You will not amount to anything

You do not deserve to even breathe

To breathe

Lock the door, stand up on the stool to reach

The rope that will set you free

Step off the edge to be at peace

Sweet release

Returning back to reality, now I see

That my thoughts aim to destroy me

But I'm coping, I'm surviving

I will find my peace