What in Tarnation

All 'bout my cheddar, my provolone

Cantankerous **** from over yon'

Pull the peacemaker, you better hold your tongue (Hold your tongue)

Dangerous, you better mosey on (Mosey along)

Came through, brass buckle on my britches (On my britches-britches)

Only care about my Mary Anne, you bitches (Mary Anne)

When that buckshot hit my ass, she gave me stitches (She stitched it up)

Ain't miss a stitch (Woah)

What in tarnation? (Tarnation), Missourifornication (Fornication)

Pull my furs out, PETA start shaking (Start shaking)

Texas for vacation (For vacation), keep my stallion stationed (Stallion stationed)

Ain't no saddle on her back, I ride that bitch naked (Like yee-haw)

My tractor push to start, I push to started it (Started)

Keep a pistol for the snakes, I don't like gardening (My garden)

Y'all know it's on sight if Mary Ann involved (That's my baby)

Keep them paws where I can see or they coming off (Let me see them hands)

Back at the barn, threw a function (Hey), y'all can't tell me nothing (Nope)

Bell bottoms, crystal, glass, and I might just throw some rum in (I might)

All piss drunk at the function (Drum), my lady wanna give me some lovin' (Okay)

She hit me with that giddy-up and sent my ass running

What in tarnation? (Tarnation) Missourifornication (Fornication)

Pull my furs out, PETA start shaking (Start shaking)

Texas for vacation (For vacation), keep my stallion stationed (Stallion stationed)

Ain't no saddle on her back, I ride that bitch naked

What in tarnation? (Tarnation) Missourifornication (Fornication)

Pull my furs out, PETA start shaking (Start shaking)

Texas for vacation (For vacation), keep my stallion stationed (Stallion stationed)

Ain't no saddle on her back, I ride that bitch naked (Like yee-haw)