Creepy Old Guy

Way back when I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere, fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used, kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys (We all do)

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses

Saggy old assets!

Cute and vile, yelling

"Hey baby, smile!"

To each girl that passes

They make me blush

Can't get enough

Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine (That's right)

I'm marrying my own creepy old guy

I'm a creepy old guy!

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy

My creepy old groom

Creepy old groom

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside!

I am older, but I'm glad I waited

'Cause here comes the bride

I am marrying my creepy old guy (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy, she's marrying)

My creepy old guy (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)

Fix his hair, get him prepared

For Armageddon

Sure, the groom crawled out of a tomb

But hey, hey, it's a wedding

So dim the lights, pick up some rice

Say something nice, it's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy

It's showtime

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

But I know that this time, I'm making it right (Making it right, making it right)

With my family by my side

Whoa yeah, woo-hoo

Oh, this is fun, I don't really dance usually, but hey, ha-ha-ha

A dance break on an album, amazing

OMG, dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife, l'chaim, to life

This is so normal

I was ignored, but now I'm adored

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride

God be glorified

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy

My creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right (Yeah, that's right!)

So let's make him alive

I am marrying my creepy old guy (Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy)

I have chills!

Yeah!