Michael in the Bathroom

I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall

I could stay right here or disappear

And nobody'd even notice at all

I'm a creeper in a bathroom, 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone

But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly

Or pretend to check a text on my phone

Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair

Now through no fault of mine there's no other half there

Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

Forget how long its been

I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

No, you can't come in

I'm waiting it out till it's time to leave

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I'm just Michael who you don't know

Michael flying solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

I am hiding but he's out there

Just ignoring all our history

Memories get erased and I'll get replaced

With a newer, cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl singing along to Whitney

Through the door

"I wanna dance with somebody!"

And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think

Now theres no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore

Now it's just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

I'll wait as long as I need

Till my face is dry

Or I'll just blame it on weed

Or something in my eye

I'm just Michael, who you don't know

Michael flying solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

Knock, knock, knock, knock

They're gonna start to shout soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Ah hell yeah I'll be out soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

It sucks he left me here alone

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Here in this teenage battle-zone

Clang, clang, clang, clang

I feel the pressure blowin' up

Bang, bang, bang, bang

My big mistake was showin' up

Splash, splash, splash, splash

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door

But I can't hear knocking anymore

And I can't help but yearn for a different time

And then I look in the mirror and the present is clear

And there's no denying I'm just at a party

Is there a sadder sight than

Michael in the bathroom at a party

This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed

Watching cable porn

Or wish I offered myself instead

Wish I was never born

I'm just Michael who's a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

God, he's such a loser

Michael flying solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

All by himself

When all you know about me is my name

Awesome party, I'm so glad I came