Jackie

And if one day I should become a singer with a Spanish bum

Who sings for women of great virtue

I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from a coffee bar

Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you

My name would be Antonio, and all my bridges I would burn

And when I gave them some, they'd know

I'd expect something in return

I'd have to get drunk every night and talk about virility

With some old grandmama

Who might be decked out like a Christmas tree

And though, pink elephants I'd see

Though, I'd be drunk as I could be

Still, I would sing my song to me

About the time they called me, Jackie

If I could be for only an hour?

If I could be for an hour every day?

If I could be for just one little hour?

A cute, cute, in a stupid ass way

And if I joined the social world, became procurer of young girls

Then I would have my own bordellos

My record would be number one and I'd sell records by the ton

All sung by many other fellows

My name would then be, handsome Jack, and I'd sell boats of opium

Whisky that came from Twickenham, authentic queers and phony virgins

If I had banks on every finger, a finger in every country

And all the country's ruled by me, I'd still know where I'd wanna be

Locked up inside my opium den

Surrounded by some China men

I'd sing the song that I sang then

About the time they called me, Jackie

If I could be for only an hour?

If I could be for an hour every day?

If I could be for just one little hour?

A cute, cute, in a stupid ass way

Now tell me, wouldn't it be nice that if one day in paradise

I'd sing for all the ladies up there

And they would sing along with me and we'd be so happy there to be

'Cause down below is really nowhere

And if my name were Juniper, then I would know where I was going

And then I would become all knowing

My beard, so very long and flowing

If I became deaf, dumb, and blind because I pitied all mankind

And broke my heart to make thing right

I'd know that every single night

When my angelic work was though

The angels and the Devil too

Would sing my childhood song to me

About the time they called me, Jackie

If I could be for only an hour?

If I could be for an hour every day?

If I could be for just one little hour?

A cute, cute, in a stupid ass way