My First Day

Sometimes I write about somethin'

That like, ain't somethin' I went through

But it's somethin' I seen my people go through

And I felt like they needed some motivational shit

And it usually ends up goin' somethin' like this

My first day

Without you in my life

Things felt strange

A bit deranged

Even so

I hope you're doin' okay

Take it slow

You just never know, just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

My system's caught in a conniption, stomach in knots

Feedin' for my medicine

Overcoming addition

The first step's quittin'

Nah, the first step's admittin'

I got a problem, I need help

This somethin' I can't beat myself

I almost feel like I can't be cured

Rehab won't take me 'cause I ain't insured

Layin' in the bathtub, shakin' like a newborn

Searchin' for the courage it'll take for me to move on

I've been livin' life this way too long

Beggin God, please, bring me home

I stopped before, three or four days

Always end up back in the same place

People call me a junkie, drop fiend

How they gonna judge me?

They don't even know me

Lights off, wanna be left alone

I'm tryin' to enjoy the methadone

Put a Jimi Hendrix record on and excuse me while I kiss the sky

Dozed off, woke up, sick to my stomach

Ran to the bathroom, started to vomit

The methadone wore off and the withdrawal started

That first day was the hardest

My first day

Without you in my life

Things felt strange

A bit deranged

Even so

I hope you're doin' okay

Take it slow

You just never know, just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Stayed strong, endured the rough weather

I ain't fully recovered, but I'm doin' much better

I can keep my food down

The shakes are gone

They lowerin' the doses of methadone

I eat V's and blow lots of drawers

Like chewing gum when you're tryin' not to smoke

Keep my mind occupied, calm my nerve

It's not the same high, and deep inside I

Just want one more

But I can't turn back this week for

Now that I made it almost a month

With just a couple of V's and I blew some blunts

But the weed ain't gonna make me OD

That other shit was gonna kill me

Six weeks, and everything seem so clear

'Fore I knew it, time flew and I was clean for a year

Can't believe somethin' that started off socially

Something I almost allowed to almost take over me

Days went by and it was sixteen months

And I swear to God I ain't never fell off once

I feel like a brand new guy

And I'm definitely livin' a brand new life

Some days I still resist the thirst

But none worse than the first

My first day

Without you in my life

Things felt strange

A bit deranged

Even so

I hope you're doin' okay

Take it slow

You just never know, just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Two years, and I ain't touched it

Got a lot done, I've been so productive

Rebuilt, I was so constructive

Can't believe I was so self-destructive

Got a good job and I make big bucks

Went to the lot, got a new pick-up

Got a brand new crib and a brand new kid

I think anybody can quit if I did

If you wanna quit, get up and go get the shit

Walk straight to the toilet, drop it, flush it, fuck it, fight it

Just resist it

And if this helps, then just keep listenin'

When you start slippin' I'll send you another one

Sonny, what's up?

We just saved another one

I know it's so hard, like there no God

But through him, you're able to go so far

Hey, I don't wanna sound corny

I'm just like you, either hungry or horny

Seems as though we get hooked so easily

Quitting becomes an impossibility

I ain't sayin', treat your body like a church

Just don't let dope put you in a hearse

The strength's inside you, you just gotta search

And know that no day will be as hard as the first

My first day

Without you in my life

Things felt strange

A bit deranged

Even so

I hope you're doin' okay

Take it slow

You just never know, just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Yo, you just never know, no

Just never know, oh

Yo

All my people

Goin' through their thing

Whatever their thing may be

Just know

God got his hands on you

And he gonna get grant you the serenity

To change the things you can't

And you can change that

Alright?

Hold me down

And I'mma hold you down

One