Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?

Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

The morn', the morn', the morn', the morn' that I was born

My old man beat up the doctor

He clocked the doctor 'cause the doctor said I look like Chewbacca

The doctor said, sir, you're misled sir, which infers you mistook me

I did not mean your lovely wife was shacking up with a wookie

What I mean is that Wolverine is less than hairy than your son

He looks like Chewy (Baba-booey, baba-booey)

And a Hong Kong phooey all in one

To put it mild, your newborn child's completely nutty **** lookin'

I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause my 15 year old cousin has less acne)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby)

Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

Always picking, ripping apart, poor Jimmy Popoli

I got schnoz like the Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you

So back me up, Bill (Yeah, you're ugly too)

So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese

Or wear a fishnet skirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans?

And my mirror never lies but it always verifies

I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie

You compare me to Monchichi, but I don't understand

Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed (Like the Elephant Man)

And yeah, I took my mom to prom but hey, she asked me first

But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a Hearse

About as popular with the girls as Engelbert Humperdinck

And that might be because everybody calls me Shrinky Dink

I know I'm known as Polaroid, I'm not a total retard

It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it in large

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you wore velour flares until the late 80's)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you run like a girl and you sit down to pee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(Took your mom to the Prom but got lucky)

Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased

And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD

Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brain

The beats Ginger with coconuts

As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut

Oh, he'll kill again, that Gilligan, they should've let him be

And like a postal clerk, he'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing me

See, the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm

Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause my 15 year old cousin has less acne)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

(Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you wore velour flares till the late 80's)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause you run like a girl and you sit down to pee)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady)

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?

('Cause no one likes you, monkey boy)