Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags)

Wait a minute, man

Aye, check this out, man (Tell him)

It was this blind man, right? It was this blind man, right?

He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?

Aye, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said

Woo, good morning, ladies

You like that shit, man?

Aye, man, I've got a gang of that shit, man

I tell you what? My man on the guitar

Aye, Fool on the drums

Aye, everybody, just crowd around the mic

I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got

So, first, I'ma start off like this, hey, help me sing it, homeboy

Come on

Said Colt 45 and two Zig Zags

Baby, that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So, roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims

So, roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small, white town

They call it East Side Palmdale (Well)

When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale (Hell)

Well, I was standing on the corner sellin' rap CDs

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy

'Cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed, fucked on the floor

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro

Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right

She sucked my dick till the shit turned white

I thought to myself, sheeba-sheeba, got my ass lookin' like a zebra

I put on my clothes and I was on my way

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

So, I ran, I jumped out the back window

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a two-by-four

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right

The motherfucker whooped my ass all night

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad

That's the best damn pussy I ever had

I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine

I'ma fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags

Baby, that's all we need (Come on)

We can go to the park after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So, roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims (Come on)

So, roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair, but, damn, she looked good

I took her to my house 'cause she was fine

But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice

I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (Tell ya)

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties, too

So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo

See, I met this woman from Hawai'i

Stuck it in her ass and she said, "Aiee"

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian punch

Met Colonel Sanders' wife in the state of Kentucky

She said, "I'd fry some chicken if you'd just fuck me"

I came in her mouth, it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags

Baby, that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee, her titties were filled with Hennessy

That country music really drove me crazy

But I rode that ass and said, "Yes, Miss Daisy"

Met this lady in Oklahoma, put that pussy in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again

Met a real Black girl down in South Carolina

Fucked her until she turned into a white albino

Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her

Fucked this girl down in Georgia

Came in her mouth, man, I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful sexy ho, she just ran across the border of Mexico

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla

I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

I know I'ma cry when she get deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags

Baby, that's all we need (Come on)

We can go to the park after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn, we can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong

And sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So, roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell, flyin' through Palmdale

Skatin' on Dayton rims (Come on)

So, roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

If my tapes and my CDs just don't sell, I bet my Caddy will